I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
this is an emotional support booty call
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
