So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
