there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
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