As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
