As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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