I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
