why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
