its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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