Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
