You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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