She's JV to your varsity
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
