I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
