I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
