Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
