He kissed a someone with a penis
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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