i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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