i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
