doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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