I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
