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One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
