i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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