I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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