its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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