Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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