Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
