Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
