Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
