I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
