The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
