just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
