It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I believe in your delicious
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
