call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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