do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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