Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
