i permit you to call me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
