physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You're earring is so big in my mouth
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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