Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
