Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
that may or may not have been my penis.
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