You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
