Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm passing your future prison.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You are the jesus of drinking
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
