We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
