her vagine was all disorganized.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
