every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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