so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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