Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
