I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 ðŸžðŸ·
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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