Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
