Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
