Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
