Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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