i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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