You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
