i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
