I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
