I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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