I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
