As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
